From the south-westernmost point of the African continent to the
corner where the borders of Zimbabwe, Zambia, Namibia and Botswana meet, dealing
with African airlines that randomly cancel flights, passing through dodgy and
dusty boarder controls whilst having exorbitant amounts of hard currency
extracted from you under the guise of a ‘visa’, never sure of which country
you’re actually in, visiting one of the natural wonders of the world, spotting
elephants and hippos while sipping new world wine as the sun goes down,
observing the vast plains from the river boat cruising down the Zambezi River -
this was my “out of (southern) Africa” experience.
My latest secret squirrel mission had me land in Cape Town, South
Africa. Cape Town is located in Table Bay, against the back drop Table Mountain.
A highlight of Cape Town is certainly the picturesque Victoria & Alfred
Waterfront, a beautiful working harbour with a plethora of restaurants and
shopping to be enjoyed, not to mention the generous servings of very tasty new
world wines.
My mission involved an extensive debrief of my double agent
activities with the action officer simply known as ‘The Kid’. The Kid, as the
case officer designated to receive the extensive debrief report, successful
completed the clandestine ‘Global Forum’ operation having obtained all the necessary
intelligence.
Following a lengthy, and somewhat rigorous number of days executing
the Global Forum operation, my role as an operative turned to one as a
‘casual’. That is, a casual observer to the surveillance exercises.
My casual observations took me along the spectacular coastline of
the South African Peninsula through swish towns like Clifton and Camps Bay and
charming historical villages like Simons Town. No visit to the Peninsula would
be complete without stopping by Cape Point and the Cape of Good Hope, the
mythical meeting place of the Atlantic and Indian Oceans (in reality the actual
currents meet at a point that fluctuates about a kilometre east of the Cape of
Good Hope). The Cape of Good Hope is the south-westernmost point of Africa and
the not the common misconceived southern tip of Africa.
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Casual surveillance plan |
The sout-westernmost point of Africa |
Returning to Cape Town, a visit to the African Penguin colony of
Boulders Beach was scheduled. A sheltered beach with turquoise water surrounded
by, you betcha, boulders, was established by just two breading pair of penguins
in 1982 that decided to settle in and not move out. The colony now boasts
almost 3,000, presumably inbred, penguins.
Inbreading rife in Boulder Beach |
Watch out for the little fellows |
Back at V&A Waterfront trying to choose between the zebra skin
and impala skin handbags, I decide that neither style suited my taste. Whilst
in the gastronomy stakes, I sampled both springbok carpaccio and smoked ostrich
carpaccio, and determined both agreed with my pallet. So too were the delightful
chardonnay, sauvignon blanc and pinotage rosé examples I tasted. With the
pinotage (red wine grape) being South Africa’s signature variety.
South Africa's four Nobel Peace Prize winners - can you name them all? |
Following one final meeting with The Kid, I bid farewell in
preparation for the 5am wake-up to make the 7:30am Zambezi Airlines flight to
Livingstone, Zambia, only to learn on arrival at the airport that the flight
had been cancelled. After some negotiations, my travel companion and I are
placed on an alternative flight to Johannesburg where we’re assured that a
representative of Zambezi Airlines would meet up to redirect us to an onward
flight to Livingstone. Predictably there
was no representative on touchdown in Jo’burg. Traversing the entire length and
bread of Jo’burg airport, we manage to find the Zambezi desk and are told there
are only 9 spots left on the 1time.com flight going to Livingstone. Claiming two spots, we go back over the other
side of the airport to check in our bags and then begin the sprint back over to
yet again the opposite side of the airport through passport control and to the
furthest possible gate (of course) to make it with only a few minutes to spare
surprisingly bumping into more travel companions.
Dodgy |
Upon landing with raucous applause in Livingstone, Zambia I assure
my travelling party that we would need a double entry visa for Zambia for the
princely sum of US$80, explaining that our trip to Victoria Falls would have us
entering Zimbabwe and thus requiring us to come back to Zambia. With usual
developing country inefficiency, this process takes some time as we stand in an
un-air conditioned arrivals hall whilst the ambient temperature is inching
towards 40 degrees.
We meet with our airport transfer driver and are told that we’re
being taken to the Zimbabwean boarder where we will be met by our driver that
would take us to our safari lodge. Ok, this is a slight departure from what I
thought would happen. My travel companions turn to me, now questioning my
travel arrangements and searching for answers as to which country we’ll actually
be staying in. I admit that I assumed that it was Zambia, but it turns out that
we’re actually visiting Robert Magabe’s slightly hostile Zimbabwe, or as the
locals prefer to call it ‘Zim’.
We arrive at the border control which consists of nothing more than
a pale green shed and cyclone fencing and are ushered inside. More developing
country inefficiency where we proceed to one window to promptly hand over
another US$30 for an entry visa, shuffling across to collect said visa from the
next window. We then take our luggage and walk along the brown dusty road
towards the cyclone fence and a larger open shed to hoist our bags on a
conveyor belt that is virtually at shoulder height so that it can be scanned by
an x-ray machine. We’re not allowed to pass until I extract something
questionable from one of my bags, which only gets a momentary glance after I’ve
gone to the extensive effort of getting it.
Hauling our bags through the other side of the shed we are then met
by our second driver as we pile into the people mover van that is pleasantly
air-conditioned with chilled bottled water waiting for us. We’re told that the
journey would be about 45 minutes. Passing through what looked like arid bush
land, we see the blackened scorched earth of a controlled burn which still
happened to be burning, with what seemed like no supervision mind you, it then
starts to pour with rain. A very strange sight indeed - burning trees in the
pouring rain.
At the end of our journey we approach the Botswana boarder. I’m now
receiving glares from my travel companions and I throw my hands up in the air and
confess I have no idea where we’re going and which African country we’ll end up
in. However, as it turns out, the Botswana boarder is merely our meeting point
to be transferred by open air jeep to our Safari Lodge only five minutes away.
Zimbabwean border with Botswana |
Safari Lodge - Zimbabwe |
Piling back into the open air jeep heading off on safari we spy
impala immediately and vultures feasting on a buffalo that had gotten itself
stuck in the mud of the banks of river. It’s not long before we spot a herd of
elephants in the distance. As the sun sets quickly, our driver and
knowledgeable guide, Rich, uses the powerful spot light to try and catch a
glimpse of the nocturnal life of the African plains, however, it wasn’t to be
our lucky night.
Impala |
Elephant snacking |
Back at the lodge we’re treated to a very tasty home cooked dinner
together with all the other guests as we recount the animals we all saw on our
respective safaris. The next morning would be a dawn wake-up call to head out
on yet another safari drive before breakfast. This time, we were able to see
graceful giraffes and cheeky looking warthogs in the cool early morning light.
Following a sumptuous outdoor breakfast, we head back towards the
Zimbabwe/Zambian boarder to visit the amazing Victoria Falls.
Yummy dinner |
Morning! |
Victoria Falls or ‘Mosi-oa-Tunya (the Smoke that Thunders) is a
UNESCO world heritage site. The total height of the falls is 108 metres and is
set in a giant gorge. Whilst it is neither the highest nor widest waterfall in
the world, it is claimed to be the largest due to its combined width of 1.7km
and height, forming the largest sheet of falling water in the world. Even
though the falls were a little ‘dry’ given the season, they still made for a
spectacular sight. At some points along the walk the mist that came from the
waterfalls was enough to get your clothes fairly damp, although with the
temperatures in the high 30s it provided from welcomed relief.
Victoria Falls |
1.7km wide |
A tour of the local markets I managed to become an instant
billionaire. As a result of economic mismanagement, Zimbabwe experienced
hyperinflation a couple of years ago and were therefore forced to print 50
billion dollar notes. These notes are now worthless (Zimbabwe have converted to
US currency), but the locals sell them to tourists as souvenirs for US$1. At
one stage I was also a trillionaire, but it seems that I lost my 50 trillion
dollar note fortune somewhere along my travels.
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If only it was that easy |
The herd |
The setting sun |
Angry territorial hippo |
After our final delicious dinner, we’re up early again the next
morning going on a morning river cruise to watch the sun rise. We visit the
border between Botswana and Zambia where ferries cross all day long, and
monetarily float into Botswana territory.
Sunrise on the Zambezi River |
Returning to the Lodge we have breakfast then begin the journey back
over the border from Zim to Zam(bia) to catch our flight from Livingstone to
Cape Town, or so we thought. Arriving once again at the airport, we learn our
flight had been cancelled. However, this time the situation was not at all
promising. Zambezi Airlines it seems had completely vanished. The office was
closed and all phones were switched off.
There are only three other carriers that operate out of Livingstone,
all with one flight each a day leaving
within 15-20 minutes of each other. My travel companion is madly racing around
from one airline to the next to try and get us on a flight back to Jo’burg at
least. Two of those airlines were fully booked with no room on the stand-by
list. We manage to get on the stand-by list of the final carrier with only 7
positions available, but this is no guarantee of getting on the flight as
effectively 7 people have not turn up so as allowing us to take their position.
The situation is getting dire because if my travelling companion doesn’t get
onto a flight then they would miss their international connection back to Paris
the following day. I on the other hand had intended to go back to Cape Town for
a few days to lounge around in Camps Bay before heading back, but neither of us
wanted to be stuck in backwater Livingstone.
With some sheer luck and frantic waving of substantial amounts of US
currency, I buy ticket numbers 6 and 7, of 7 on the stand-by list for the very
last flight leaving Zambia for Jo’burg. I have subsequently never checked in my
bag so quickly before, making sure that it gets on the plane.
On arrival in Jo’burg I contact my travel agent in South Africa to
see if they can assist me in getting back to Cape Town – they apparently can’t
and I have to organise my own arrangements at my own cost. Seeing as
economically there is no point in going back Cape Town, only to come back to
Jo-burg a day or say later, I rearrange my international flight back to Paris
so that I leave the next evening. Consequently I had an unexpected day in
Jo’burg which allowed me to take a tour of the town and the township of Soweto
to learn more about the fascinating history of South Africa.
South African Constitutional Court in Jo'burg |
And yes… I predictably heard the song “The Lion Sleeps Tonight”… a
wimoweh, a wimoweh…
Southern Africa |
you got a real adventure while I just had 5 star luxury and a gippy tummy! next time you can plan my mission too...
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